Who needs Cliff bars?

Eat like a horse
A trio of beets
A bunch of carrots
Raw cheese

In chronologic order

Bang.......! Stomach Bug..... 11 days on and off, hot and cold. Nausea, head spinning like a drunken dope on PMS.....luckily no puking.. My usually voracious appetite turned into meager helpings of Kombucha and toast....I completely lost my appetite..even water would make me want to puke..... which I guess is a great way to lose 5 lbs....but shit....Now my pants don't fit.

4 days after the nausea bug...
I Crash on a training ride with some friends....launching myself across the pavement without my bike......the Lycra from my shorts melted, smoldering like fresh roadkill, drug across chip-sealed gravel and skidded upon until it became one with my skin. I ended up sliding over 25' on my left hip and elbow....Thankfully the road was cut into the side of a hill and the brutally abrasive slide was brought to a halt as I barreled into it.

Two days later my 23 year old Toyota decides to go into a coma or maybe it just left on an acid trip...wherever it is I hope it feels euphoric and comes back soon.
The outcome is pending.

I should have known some funk was up when the rain came.
The day the first drop plummeted from the sky, was the first day I felt sick.
and then the rain continued.........
.
Sick, broken, and car-less..no money either...but that's typical.

Well at the very least I can't fall behind on training, so I'm up at 6am...on my bike by 7ish...home at 11:00 and like an anorexic penguin tearing my soaking wet clothes off slumbering into the shower. This is when I do my laundry and hand wash my cycling clothing......and defrost my toes.
After the shower comes the time where I'm supposed to take a nap, eat some food, rest and recover a bit.
No! You Dink...remember I have no money.
This is were I put my Lycra back on, throw some dry clothes in a backpack, and ride to work in the rain like an Idiot.
This process more or less repeats itself for a week....
I'm Hammered after just a few days of this...If you though I was a ray of sunshine, you should see me now.
Then just around Victoria's birthday, things start to look a little on the up.
We stay the night in a secluded Bed and Breakfast in Invernes. In the morning we have an awesome breakfast....and get an amazing 4 hour weather window between storm systems. We take advantage checking out the huge waves and watch the ocean rage in the sunshine along the beach. Then pack our shit and hit it so I'm too work by 2pm...I've arranged to be in 2 hours late...
As soon as I get back to Mill Valley, I smash Victoria's borrowed car into the curb tearing a hole in the side of the one tire she bought last week. Yep, just one.....go figure....well she had a spare....but no jack...no wrench for the lug nuts...fuck!....I had to improvise and guess what?.....It started raining again within minutes of mounting the tire.....and just kept on raining...fucking rain....punch yourself in the face!

The next night while toasting some bread in our toaster oven...the damn thing caught fire and burst into flames...I opened the door and the flames lunged out at my face....so I slammed it shut..unplugged it...picked it up by the handles...and launched it outside..
Three minutes later my landlord calls......just a coincidence, turns out that he hit his head on a metal cabinet and tore a flap of skin off his head..........so I'm
over there picking through crusty blood and hair trying to assess the damage for him....He was OK...but that was not what I had in mind for desert.
Meanwhile, my house smells like a pack of Marb's...and for the next 4 days I smell like a chain smoker...Victoria gets sick and pukes her brains out.....I play frozen anorexic penguin on my bike mostly only getting in partial rides and sleeping in a hole of anxiety about my health, dieing truck, lack of training...and life as a bike racer.........UH.
Could be worse...

Well, that was a nice reality check....Love being an auto dependent consumerist American....Life is great when if revolves only around You. Jerk. Yea I'm talking about me........and the rest of us.
Well
Now it's finally quit raining and my training is back on track.....along with my motivation...hopefully my truck comes back to life and I can conginue to burn dead dino's following through with my commitment as a loyal American to speed up the global warming process...

I'd like to give a great thanks to everyone that helped me out and listened to me gripe....Thanks for the rides home from work they were a life saver, (thanks Woody)......And thanks for not firing me after coming into work late almost every day, (Chad).
And to everyone else.......get out and enjoy the SUN......every chance you get...you never know when It may start raining..
Also get a Fender.....at least you'll have a dry ass.

Road Rash

I hate when this happens...

Back on it.

Plugged back in.........Comcast has me by the balls with the typical corporate monopoly shit, I don't like to support these lamo's..........but that's my only option at my place, I'm just as bad as they are.......sweet. Should I start revolution? Nah.......I'm going riding..........I'm sure one day, as history repeats itself, the large Apes will fall under their own scandalous footing. Until then.

Happy F-ing New year.


This is Mt Albright in Jackson Hole, WY......She was a daily choice for skinning in the Tetons. Great snow, challenging terrain, and amazing views.
This is where we would go when we wanted a relatively safe alpine experience and 4000' in one shot.
For seven years I skied this peak...sometimes solo.....sometimes with good friends.
And
From Day one as a young and naive adventurist......my gracious mentors warned me of
its looming potential.
Glad to be riding my bike and not dead under the debris from the recent
avalanche activity.
Hope my friends are playing it safe. enough.